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Rashomon Effect (9)

Recently Mahatma Gandhi’s personal items were sold at an auction and it was bought by the Indian businessman Vijaya Mallaya.

Culture Minister, Ambika Soni:

“We have been able to procure them through the services of Mallya who was in touch with us,” an elated Culture Minister Ambika Soni told media-persons in New Delhi [Images], hours after the items were auctioned for $ 1.8 million.

Vijaya Mallaya:

In a shocking statement, industrialist Vijay Mallya has said that the Indian government had nothing to do with his bidding for Mahatma Gandhi’s memorabilia in a New York auction. Mallya said this in an interview to a TV channel from France. “I bid independently… I wanted to get back the items to the country… I am not sure if anyone was aware that I was bidding,” chairman of the United Breweries Group said. “Nobody from the government advised me on the bid… Our national treasure was up for grabs, for me it was emotional,” he said.

(hat tip: rand0mwalker)

See Also: Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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Can the CEC turn a Mongoose Golden?

When Yudhishtira’s yagna was about to end, a mongoose with half his body in golden color turned up. This mongoose, who could speak, opined that this sacrifice was not equal to the deeds of a poor brahmin who lived in Kurukshetra.

Perplexed, the brahmins who were sapient in matters of yagna, asked him to explain. They had done the sacrifice as per the rituals. They had uttered the mantras without thinking of the Reed Wharbler or Whitethroat. So what could go wrong?

The mongoose simply said, “story time.”

There lived a poor brahmin family with nothing to eat. One day the head of the household got some barley. The food was divided and they were about to eat when a guest arrived. The brahmin gave his share to the guest but the guest was still hungry. So his wife gave her share. Soon their son and daughter-in-law followed. The guest departed and the family too departed — to heaven.

The mongoose who was watching this came out, rolled in the barley, and half of his body turned golden. The mongoose rolled around in Yudhishtira’s palace and the other half did not turn golden, but just became dirty.

Yudhishtira told the mongoose that if he visited the Chief Election Commissioner, the fate would be the same. The mongoose read a Rediff article and was shocked

“If you go to his residence, he won’t even offer you a glass of water. He may even eat in front of you without offering you anything,” a close friend said. This attitude is more because of a give-nothing-take-nothing principle than anything else, insiders say “He had to attend so many dinner meetings. In the two decades or so that I have known him, I have never seen him eat outside,” a friend said, adding, “He will entertain you in the drawing room and may talk to you for two hours, but there won’t be a single offer for any refreshments or even water.” [He lives by the give-nothing-take-nothing principle ]

The mongoose thanked Yudhishtira for the tip. He read other Rediff articles and found a person who could help him.

Chawla was also found to have exercised ‘extra-statutory control in jail matters’, including ‘the treatment of detenues’. Not confining himself to dictating to his boss as to the persons to be arrested, he also prescribed how they were to be treated in prison. For instance, he was for constructing special cells with asbestos roofs to ‘bake’ certain prisoners. [Unfair to impute motives to CEC]

The ‘asbestos treatment’ would definitely bring a glow to his skin, the mongoose thought, but he would be dead. Finally the mongoose looked at the 401(k)s, bank balances and house price of various people and decided to be content with what he had. He lived happily ever after.

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Hey Ram!

Observing the death anniversary of late chief minister C N Annadurai, the ruling DMK will offer 31 special pujas at various temples on Tuesday. Ironically, Annadurai was an atheist and Chief Minister M Karunanidhi’s son, M K Stalin, named after a Communist leader, will be attending the maximum number of pujas — three, including one at a temple near the party headquarters, Anna Arivalayam. [‘Rationalist’ DMK turns religious ]

When there is a break between first and second puja, Stalin can probably ask Lord Rama which engineering school he graduated from and tell his daddy. Also in the break between the second and third puja, all those DMK followers and Stalin can discuss what Periyar wrote about Hindu gods .

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The Butterfly Effect

However, the Government has argued in court that such a bridge cannot exist and to support its claim, it has reffered to the Padma Purana in Ramayan which mentions that Lord Ram destroyed the bridge built by him using his magical bow and arrow.[Oh Lord! Now Govt says Ram destroyed Setu]

President Bush tells Prime Minister Manmohan Singh that the Nuclear deal is valid till the end of his presidency. Manmohan Singh develops spine and asks Karat and Co to become fossil fuel. To win the vote Congress cuts deals with DMK. DMK’s pound of flesh is that the Sethusamundram Shipping Canal Project should go on. Govt. officials read Padma Purana and find that Lord Rama, who did not exist before the vote, not only existed, but he himself destroyed the bridge.

Who would have thought that President Bush flapping his wings in the White House would result in the Govt. accepting the existence of Lord Rama? Even Valimiki could not have come up with such a twist.

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A Tomb Robber's Tale

A man identified only as Quan has died after a Liao Dynasty (907-1125 AD) tomb he was attempting to rob collapsed on him. Six people who were also involved in the attempted theft were still trying to extract him when police arrived.

Ironically, the tomb he was trying to raid had nothing in it – most likely because it was emptied by previous tomb robbers.[Tomb Raider Dies as Grave Collapses on Top of Him]

Only a limerick can do justice to this adventurer:

There lived a man in China called Quan.
He wanted a bag full of yuan
His role model was Indiana Jones
But all people heard were loud moans
When under a tomb, they found him withdrawn.

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