Jivha had a blog entry on the “Top Thirteen Rules for Bollywood, 2004 Edition”:http://www.jivha.com/blog/archives/001065.html. Here are some of mine
# Even a poor villager goes to Switzerland to sing songs. We don’t know how he gets the money, maybe by selling one of his kidneys.
# In song sequences, every hero and heroine has a crowd of extras repeating the same steps behind them. 50 years and Bollywood has not found a different way to picturize film songs.
# Every film has a song which is set on stage which is surrounded by crowds of people, who just wave their arms in air. Where do these arm waving people work ?
# If want to look macho and your name is Bobby Deol or Sunil Shetty, then you should wear Rayban glasses even if it is midnight.
# If it is an Amitabh Bachchan movie, there has to be atleast one song where he dances with a bunch of scantily clad girls old enough to be his granddaughter.
# There has to be atleast one song containing the word “Maahive” and “Soniye”.
# Humor is Johnny Lever shouting.